....I would never EVER, at an event marking a nationwide education program of even questionable value, say "Childrens can learn." EVER.

(Insert here: big sigh heard round the world, and not in a good way, mind you).

......I would make sure that during my Administration, the rest of the world didn't zoom right past us the way it has the past 8 years. What has America done lately for the environment? Global warming? Broadband access? Medical research? Democratic ideals? (and that does NOT include Tasering guys at public speeches who simply seem to be totally jerkface obnoxious at asking questions). Technology innovation? Human rights? Health insurance? Balancede budgets? Really cool urban public schools? Vibrant downtowns? Urban planning? More welfare reform? Job creation?

ABSOLUTELY FRICKING nothing, that's what. And if I were president, that would change.

First up: everybody would be encouraged to buy cloth bags to take to the grocery with them so we could start reducing the use of plastic.

And anything that comes packaged in something that requires scissors to cut it open would be banned.

Yup, BANNED. It's OK for govenrment to ban bad things, but not good stuff like free speech.