......I would make sure my nominee for Vice President did not come highly imbued with elements of white trashiness. (A certain recent candidate's choice inspired visions of a double wide on the White House lawn, with a few snowmobiles on cement blocks behind it)....


I would make sure my VP candidate actually has some grasp, even a teeny tiny one, of what the VP actually does (besides, of course, starting/waging wars, acting like Darth Vader, and tossing down a few before shooting old white guys in the face).

I would insist that my candidate not lie.

I would probably suggest that in a sense of fairness to her (I'm talking about you now, Ms. Palin) other uniquely named children (Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig), Ms. Palin and her soon-to-be-teen-age-mommy-daughter Bristol name their child-grandchild appropriately as well, linked to an equally relevant highlight, place or life event at that moment in time. I'm suggesting Trojan. Or perhaps Lambskin. Or Norinyl. Or Yasmin.

And I have to ask: Wasn't Dubya sold to us as just a "regular guy" and an "accomplished governor." Do we really want that AGAIN? Whole helluva lot of good it did us last time around...