...I would do a quick "OOPS!" today and go back and find a WOMAN to nominate to the Supreme Court. DUH.

...I'd make sure that ANYONE whose name showed up in Pat Fitzgerald's indictement, even anyone whose name is "Official A" (I'm not naming names, Karl Rove), pack up their desk immediately and turn in a letter of resignation as they head out the door. Even if there's only the hint of wrongdoing, it's time to go away. Good riddance to anyone who can't understand the difference between politics and governance.

...I'd be sure to nominate another woman for the Supreme Court, if for no other reason than to honor the service and example of Sandra Day O'Connor. Plenty of white guys already.

...I would announce today -- before any indictments are handed down -- that anyone indicted or even implicated in the leaking of CIA agent Valerie Plame's name to any reporter would be reuqired to hand in his/her resignation as soon as that information becomes public. No ifs, ands or butts. If your name's on the list, you're outa here.

...I'd ask the Federal Elections Commission to ask all candidates for all future offices (federal, state and local) to use recyclable paper or old grocery bags for their campaign signs. Plastic signs are a waste of money and they're using up valuable oil reserves (maybe the rising price of oil will make them too expensive without federal invention!). Besides, they're ugly. If people want to put up a sign for a candidate in their yard, tell them to use a Magic Marker and an old paper grocery bag. Then recycle it when the elections are over. And if it rains and disintegrates, go make another. Simple as pie, eh?

...I'd announce today that American troops will start coming home from Iraq today. The Iraqis have voted on a constitution, and no matter what their decision, it's obvious they're not going to give up civil unrest or thousands of years of tribal grievances overnight. And the presence of American troops is risky to the troops and to the stability of that country. Today. Start bringing them home today, that's my executive order. And let the guys in Ramadi and Fallujah be first on the planes.

...I'd have the people in my press office call the people at Fox News and tell them, "Hey, shut UP, will you?"

...I'd encourage the Iraqi people, as they vote on their constitution, to make sure they set up a National Park System in Iraq first thing. The only way to serve the future, seems to me, is to honor the past, and if the Tigris and Euphrates really is the birthplace of civilization, seems to me the Iraqis have lots more than most countries on earth. Besides, creating and nurturing parks is far better than detonating bombs and blowing stuff up.

....I would do what that old bumper sticker says: make the Pentagon hold a bake sale or wrapping-paper sale every time they wanted to buy a new bomber or new uniforms, and instead I'd give public schools billions of unaccounted-for dollars. At least if I'm going to waste money, it's going to be on kids and learning, not killing and bombs and stuff.

...I'd think seriously about the timing of the "terror alerts" that my government would issue. I'd at least make sure they were plausible, credible reports of possible terror, and more than that, I'd try to issue them so that it didn't always look like I was trying to do the old "look over there!" routine to distract attention from bad news elsewhere in my government. Like if a hurricane had just hit and my government did a terrible job responding to it, or if I'd just appointed a Supreme Court nominee that even the people who were SUPPOSED to be my friends detested, I wouldn't go issuing a terror alert in hopes of distracting their attention. Pretty soon, people will start to figure out that kind of stuff.

...I'd ask people in my administration, or people nominated for Supreme Court judgeships, to limit themselves to one tube of mascara a day. Someone needs to send Harriet Miers to the makeup counter at Macy's.

...I'd start to think of good ways to get us OUT of the war in Iraq instead of insisting that we stay there and continue to make things worse. No wonder the war on terror is now global....we're making people all over the WORLD hate our guts.

...I would pick someone to be a JUDGE on the U.S. Supreme Court, which handles JUDICIAL decisions and stuff that's pretty important, who at least had a little teeny bit of experience as, hmmm, I don't know, a JUDGE. Even a few years on mayor's court would be good.

...I would ask the Democratic Party to consciously start delivering messages not about politics and political campaigns but about governance and governing. The current residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue seem to think that they're running an eternal campaign, and they've forgotten that they're supposed to be governing, leading and innovating, not politicking, grandstanding and photo-opping. Seems to me most of the residents of the U.S. of A would prefer leaders who are good at governance, not politics. There's a big difference.